Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
