Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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