I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
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