Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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