she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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