I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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