You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
