We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
