So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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