Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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