Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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