I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
