Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
