ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
