i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm like, not good at living.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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