i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
