We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize