I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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