you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
