NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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