Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I puked a lego.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize