I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I need to sanitize my soul.
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