I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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