I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
