My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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