can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
