i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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