***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
