I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
