Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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