This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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