someone get that fucking seahorse.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
