we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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