Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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