She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize