Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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