i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
