My friends, they love my intelligence
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
