so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
