waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
