I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
