Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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