i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
