you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
