Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
