i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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