sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize