U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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