We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
