how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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