i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it because I queefed?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
