It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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