either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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