just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
