so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
