hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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