So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
