this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
