I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
